“Why aren’t they in school today? ” – responses for the home schooling parent!

So…you may have been under the impression that home schooling was ultimately a parent’s decision.

But…apparently, there are quite a few people who have taken it upon themselves to monitor your child’s education. For the sake of this post, let’s call them busy-bodies! (Although I have some other name’s for them!)

I wish I was the type of person who could just ‘let things go’ but I’ve accepted that that’s just not who I am…especially when those comments are made about children…in their hearing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m also terrible at coming up with a reply in the heat of the moment…I’ll still be stewing over the perfect response a few days later!

The days when I try to just smile and nod are the days that I end up ranting in posts like Stop asking me what school our toddler is going to! or 12 reasons why we’re trying world-schooling.

That’s why I’ve put together a few replies to some common  comments that these busy bodies like to make! I’ve noted a few depending on whether you want to wow them with facts, be sarcastic or just scare them off! The replies get progressively sillier as you work your way down the list.

If these busy-bodies are repeat offenders then I won’t judge you if you feel the need to add a few well-chosen expletives (not in front of the kids obviously!)?

I should also point out that I’m not saying you should hurl abuse at anyone who dares to ask why your children aren’t at school. Some people genuinely have no idea that home schooling exists and some are actually interested…others are just pillocks!

1. How will he learn to socialise?

• School is in no way a natural social environment. How often have you been put in a room with 30 people your age. Told to pick a few people and be friends with them for the next ten or so years?
• School is not a happy environment for many. Bullying affects most young people. Child line ran over 240,000 bullying related counselling sessions for individuals last year!

• Hi there, I’m Amy. I’m assuming that you were schooled?! (nuff said)

• Children learn by example…usually we’re lucky enough to meet polite people… ? we’re not doing so well today.

• They learn everywhere they go…today you are their teacher…you’re not doing too well!

2. How will they fit in!?

• I want my boys to work out who they are for themselves. Not become what they think their peers want them to be. None of that is important when you leave school so if you’re never in school then it’s never important!

• Fit in what?!

• Are you implying that we’re freaks!?

• Fit into a weird social hierarchy that no-one can quite work out the formula to?! From what I remember it was something about perfect hair, caked on make-up and relaxed parents.

3. How can YOU teach them to read and write?

• Most children ‘teach‘ themselves to read…when they’re ready. In the same way they learn to talk if they’re spoken to.

• Well, considering our schools are failing miserably, I can’t do much worse!

4. Are you a teacher?

• No thanks. Over 90% of teachers suffer from stress…it doesn’t sound like my kind of profession. (I actually am a trained teacher…so is my husband!)

• Are you a pedagogy expert?

• I am their mother. I am their role model. I am their confidant. I am their defender. What was the question again!

• Yes, I told you already, I home school.

• If you mean did I spend years at university learning how to control unruly pupils and assess learning…then no…I’m not a teacher.

5. How will they learn to listen and do as they’re told?

• They will learn to be respectful. Not to obey an adult just because they’re bigger than them.

• By not copying their peers in school.

• Oh yes because classroom behaviour was perfect last time I checked!

6. Shouldn’t they be learning? (when spotted in the park…or having ‘too much fun’)

• Kids actually spend less than an hour a day actually being taught by a teacher.

• Teachers put so much effort into planning extra-curricular experiences…we have them every day!

• Shouldn’t you be minding your own business!?

• Remember when I asked for your opinion …no me neither!

7. He won’t be able to play team games?

• Oh, I could have sworn that I drove him to rugby practice last night!

• Why not?!

8. He won’t be prepared for the world of work.

• Home educated young people get into college and often do better there than their schooled peers. (Business Insider)

• I hope my boys learn that work doesn’t have to all look the same. That there is more to life than 9-5. That money can be made in many different ways. (Since leaving work to have my babies I’ve made thousands each year in various ways…I’ve made ruler height charts and airbnb’ed the house over summer …none of it involved an office!)

• You mean he won’t spend his entire childhood trapped between four walls only to get a job where he’s trapped between four walls.

• Please keep talking…I only yawn when I’m super interested!

9. He’ll have to learn to sit still at some point.

• With obesity levels continuing to rise…it’s probably best he doesn’t.

• But why…? Movement stimulates the brain.

• Thanks for your valuable insight…I’ll be sure to make a note of it!

I would love to add some of your best come-backs to my list! After all…us home schooling parents need to stick together! ?

Let me know what your best come backs are in the comments below!